Am I in a Situationship?

Am I in a situationship

What exactly is a situationship?

Let’s paint a quick yet clear picture to depict what the situation is. Say Mary Jane and John Doe have an undefined romantic relationship and it continues to remain undefined leading to some sort of confusion, anger, pain, and disappointment about what they are, what they are doing, or what they might become. Also, it is very likely that the actions of either Mary affect John or vice versa.

“It is important to stress that even committed relationships can lead to situationships. There are no boundaries as to how humans can feel and act”

It is the gap between having a committed relationship and being friends with benefits. One on hand, it is public knowledge that friends with benefits know exactly what they are in for and are not expected to stay committed. On the other hand, a committed and defined relationship has a clear picture of what the future might be.

Signs that show that you are in a situationship

Watch out for the following signs to see if you’re in a situationship or not.

The other party shows acts of unseriousness

If either Mary or John keeps on with the consistent acts of unseriousness, then it is highly likely that the other person is in a situationship. The truth is acts of seriousness might sometimes pop up out of the blue but it doesn’t necessarily mean that connote seriousness. It is better to accept the situation and not subject yourself to unhappiness from an inconsistent person.

Avoiding Talks about the Future

Although, we are advised to live in the moment. However, everyone is curious as regards what the future holds. It is important to know the directions where a certain relationship is heading. Once a party is doing everything that he or she can avoid talking about the future, then it is fast becoming a situationship.

Avoiding the “what are we talk”

Defining a>what are we? can do the magic. Once a person is doing everything that he or she can to avoid defining the relationship then a situationship has evolved.

Hiding the other party from friends and families

In a serious relationship, a person will be eager to introduce his or her partner to friends, members of the family, and even colleagues at work. If one’s partner continues to hide either from meeting family members and friends or introducing one to them then there might be some sort of situationship happening.

Disconnecting any form of emotional connection

Intimate relationships are always a rollercoaster of emotions. Conversations that spark deep emotional connections and bonding such as exposing one’s secrets and pasts, one’s vulnerability, inner desires, problems, and sharing intriguing moments of happiness will always be avoided in a situationship.

A relationship of convenience

Going out of one’s way to make sure that things work out is very important in a serious and committed relationship. A situationship thrives on convenient timing for dates, meetups, or hookups. There is hardly creating time or going out of the way to make things work. No spending out of budget, taking time off work, taking time to learn or prepare extra delicacies, or working towards stopping a bad habit.

What to do in a situationship?

Situationships are pretty tricky. At some point, people in situationships might have come to the conclusion that such situationship partner could be ‘the right one’. It’s quite difficult as there is no perfect formula for matters of the heart. The logical thing to do in this situation is to evaluate and communicate.

Evaluate by asking yourself questions

  • Do I want to be with this person forever?
  • Can I continue like this?
  • Do I love this person or I’m just enjoying myself?
  • Am I willing to show this person off to the world?

Communicate with the other person

After self-evaluation, the next thing is to communicate with the other party. Communicate exactly how you feel about the situationship. Explain how you see the whole thing going, and where you’d like it to go. Ask them what they feel, how they feel. Communicate before concluding.


Matters of emotions are usually subjective to individuals’ feelings and perspectives. While we have different types of relationships, one of the most talked-about (especially in this generation) is situationship. In case you’re wondering if you are in a situationship; hopefully, this piece has helped you to identify the prevailing signs of a situationship and the best line of actions to engage in as regard to your current situation.

About the author

Pamela Abua